Roatan

Roatan
Pirate ship?

Sunday, May 26, 2013

Day Four-Sixteen - Things That Make Me Mad!

What is up with this weather?  If April showers bring May flowers, what do May showers bring other than aggravation?  I just wanted to spend the weekend out at the pool.  But instead I have spent it all indoors waiting for rain cloud after rain cloud to pass over.

Yesterday as my friend Jenny and I sat at Cedars Woodfire Grill enjoying what I thought at the time was a light lunch, (note to self - in the future review nutritional information BEFORE ordering and eating every bite of a Chophouse Steak Salad.  How in the hell can a salad have 71 grams of fat and 47 grams of carbs??!?!?!?!?  Shouldn't that be illegal?) a rainstorm came up that was almost shocking in it's intensity.  It wasn't a violent storm or anything like that.  It was just raining so hard that I was amazed by it.  I mean it was almost as amazing as a salad with 71 grams of fat and 47 grams of carbs.....

During the storm Jenny and I both pulled our smart phones out and checked the Fox4 WAPP which until today was my favorite app.  Today is when I discovered that those guys at Fox4 just put in a forecast that they think might make you happy.....  At least that's what I now believe.  Yesterday during that storm, the forecast showed thundershowers on Saturday, sunny and 87 degrees today, and sunny and 85 degrees on Monday.  Then today I went out for a walk on the local bike/pedestrian trail for just a few minutes an hour ago and it started raining on me.  Mind you it has been overcast since I woke up this morning.  I didn't even get to walk a 1/4 of a mile before I had to turn around and come home so that my phone wouldn't get wet.  So, I opened up the trusty WAPP again to see what was going on and here's what it says today....

Today:  Thunderstorms and 85 degrees
Monday:  Sunny and 89 degrees
Tuesday:  Windy and 89 degrees

So, I'm thinking that if it rains tomorrow this is what I will see when I look at it during the rainstorm....

Today:  Thunderstorms and 85 degrees
Tuesday:  Sunny and 89 degrees
Wednesday:  Sunny and 89 degrees

So I guess I'm wondering why in the hell Fox4 couldn't have predicted the overcast skies today and the rainstorm that got me wet during my walk.  I mean in this day and age of Doppler radars and being able to slide your finger across a green screen on your newscast and predict where a tornado is going to head next, they can't tell whether or not it might rain in the next 24 hours?????  Here's the deal Fox4....  I don't need for you to tell me what my idea of perfect weather is.....  I need for you to tell me what the weather will actually be like.  THAT would be much more helpful.  You see, I already know what I want the weather to be like.  But based on the information I can get from you, I don't know what it actually will be like.  So, while I appreciate that Fox4 wants to please me, it really doesn't help me.

Okay, with that rant out of the way, let's get back to this salad I had yesterday.  I've been ordering this same salad each time I have gone to Cedars for a year or so.  I love it.  It is delicious and until just a few minutes ago, I thought it was healthy.  When Jenny and I were trying to decide where to go, it is the reason we chose Cedars.  We wanted a healthy lunch.  Ummmm.... not s'much.  That guy who writes the Eat This Not That books needs to make a trip to Cedars because those people try to make you think you are getting healthy food there when in reality they are trying to kill you!  I guess I should be happy that I can at least look up the nutritional information on line and see ingredient by ingredient just what is causing the enormous fat and carb content of my favorite salad so that I can order it next time without any of the good stuff on it.  But I'm not sure that it's enough.

Don't get me wrong.  I don't want to release that idiot NYC mayor on Cedars or anything like that.  But shouldn't there be a surgeon generals warning on any salad that unhealthy?  Maybe on the menu next to the salad there should be a picture of a ginormous pig laying on his back dead from having eaten the salad one too many times.  Perhaps if that is too much, they could just post pictures of all of the 300 plus pound women who like to order this salad wearing nothing but sports bras and spandex bike shorts like they are weighing in on The Biggest Loser next to the picture of the delicious salad.  That might do the trick.  They could post a comment next to the photos that says; these are some of our customers who order this salad on a regular basis..... what do they have in common????  I think something like that might get my attention before I placed my order.  At the very least when you order a salad like that, the cash register should start oinking when the girls presses the button indicating the most unhealthy salad in the world has just been ordered.

Seriously, I feel like Jerry and Elaine discovering that the yogurt they thought was healthy was in fact, not healthy at all!  Can I tell you how upsetting this is to me?  I may be scarred for life by this.  From now on when I go into a restaurant and start to order a salad, I may start twitching and break out in spasms over the stress of ordering a salad that may or may not kill me over time.  Hey....  I know.... maybe a class action lawsuit......

Okay, I'm finished with my rants now.  Have a good Sunday afternoon.  If you have been counting on your Fox4 WAPP for your weather predictions, I hope you'll enjoy the rain as you sit outside under the bright sunny sky that you were promised today.


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