Okay, so I've taken several weeks off from writing any blogs. My life has been busy lately! I won't bore you with those details. But I'll just say that the spare time has been minimal. The other issue is that I can't really think of much to write about. On my other blog, the work blog, I try to write about travel. I was in the middle of a mind trip to Tokyo and Hong Kong. Right in the middle of Hong Kong I lost all interest. I wasn't seeing a lot of people reading it and there were no Likes, Shares or Comments at all so I figured the readers were no more interested in it than I was. So, I stopped. Someone did mention to me last week that they were hopeful that I would finish that mind trip and post more about Tokyo. But I decided that if it was of so little interest to them that they couldn't even be bothered to at least click a simple "Like" then it must not be that big of a deal. It's hard to keep spending an hour or two everyday writing something and then publishing it and getting no indication whatsoever that anyone else even saw it much less had an interest in it.
So last week, I went to Toledo Bend with my Mom and Dad. We only stayed one night. I'm not much of a lake person. I like looking at a lake. But the issue I have with lakes is that they attract spiders and I am terrified of spiders. So, I got no sleep, it was hard to relax because each time I sat down, I imagined a spider crawling on me. I didn't actually see that many spiders, but there were a lot of spider webs which indicates to me that the spiders must be off somewhere doing spidery things.... like crawling up on me looking for a good place to bite.
I'm not sure where my fear of spiders comes from. There were never any incidents in my life in which I was attacked by a spider and I've never been bitten by any poisonous spider that I am aware of. Yet it is my greatest fear. If you hand me a snake and tell me to hold it, I will hold it. Want me to hold some creepy crawly lizard for you? No problem. But if a nearly microscopic spider walks across the floor, I become almost paralyzed with fear. My issue is that they are so small, quiet and they weigh practically nothing so you can't even tell if they have gotten on you. Then they can bite you and we've all seen those pictures on the internet of a person's arm rotting off following a spider bite that they didn't even feel!!!! FREAKY!!!!! They are silent, deadly killers!
Spiders are the one reason that I really regret never having gotten married. I can do without a husband in my life to talk to, to go out with and to even have a little bedroom fun with. But I NEED a spider killer. A number of years ago, while I lived in my last rental apartment in Dallas, I had a one car garage. I had Jingle then who was no different then than he is now. He liked spending time in my garage. The only difference then from now is that at the time, I would open the garage door while I grilled just outside of the garage and Jingle would walk around in the garage and even out to the grill without fear. Now if the garage door opens he runs back in the house.
On this day, the door to the house was open and the garage door was open as I prepared to cook on the grill. Jingle was in the garage and I was getting a steak ready to go on the grill. When I walked out of the house and through the garage to move the grill out to the parking lot, Jingle remained focused on a bag of potting soil which was in the corner of the garage and partially opened. When I walked back by, he was still staring intently at the bag of potting soil. I thought it was strange and called his name. He never looked up or acknowledged that I had attempted communication (much like the readers of my blogs).
I went back in the house for something and when I came back out, Jingle was still completely focused on the potting soil. So I decided to see why he was so interested in it. I picked him up and he began clawing at me to get back down to the potting soil. I put him down and moved the bag a little... and that's when I saw the TARANTULA! It was enormous! It was sort of on the lip of the open bag of potting soil. I would say that standing up, it was probably as big around as a softball if you counted the legs. I freaked! I thought about just grabbing Jingle and running in the house. But then there would still be a spider in my garage and something had to be done about that. My lease wasn't up for several more months. So I couldn't just move..... So, I took action.
First I decided that I needed to stun it. So I ran in the house and grabbed a can of Raid. I came back outside and soaked the spider with Raid. When I had emptied the can on the spider at point blank range, I threw the empty can at the spider like they do in Western movies when the six-shooter has been emptied on the bad guy. There was Raid pooling everywhere and the spider only seemed to be getting angrier. He barely staggered after being soaked in poison.
I knew I had to find something to strike the spider with that would not have me getting too close to said spider. My previous rental had been a duplex on Lake Ray Hubbard... again, a property near water and therefore near creepy crawly creatures. So I had shovels, hoes, rakes and so on. Okay, I admit the gardening tools were more for the yard at the house on Lake Ray Hubbard and not so much for the creepy crawly creatures. But they come in handy for that sort of thing. So, I got the hoe out and decided to use it to kill the spider. But it was still in my garage and the only thing that creeps me out as much as spiders is splattering a creature in an area that I will then have to clean up. It's one of the reasons I know I could never kill another human being. I would never be able to deal with the mess. So I began to sort of rake the spider out of the garage using the hoe. At the same time, I was looking around for any other humans - preferably big, masculine, strong men who were not easily frightened to help me. There were none. How can you live in an apartment complex in the middle of Plano, Tx. full of hundreds of other people and be in distress late in the afternoon after everyone is home from work, but before dark and not see a single suitable person to help? What are the odds?
So I had worked my way almost out of the garage with the spider using the hoe. It got away from me a few times and had just gotten away again when I saw a man carrying his trash to the dumpster which was just across the parking lot. So, I yelled for him to "pleeeeeeease come and help me". But somehow I had come across the most flamboyantly gay man in all of America at that exact moment when I needed a really manly man the most? Don't get me wrong. I love the gays. Some of my very good friends are gay men and they are the best guys in the world to have around in most instances. But this guy might have been more afraid of the spider than me. He did come over but he kept getting behind me as I was trying to give him the hoe and get him to kill the spider. REALLY??!?!?!? It finally took the spider walking toward the man to convince him that he had to kill it. He did. It splattered all over the parking lot. The sad thing is that by this time, I had almost convinced myself that this spider had probably escaped from a spider habitat in someone else's apartment within the complex. I mean after all, it never even tried to get away from me except when I was using the hoe on it. We probably killed someones escaped pet.
But this is what happens when you keep pets that God never meant to be pets. They get away and people kill them in a state of hysteria. I never found out if the spider was, in fact someones pet. It's just a feeling I had mostly because you don't see a lot of Tarantulas in North Texas. But I suppose anything is possible. The man who finally killed the spider for me did not become friends with me. You would think that the incident would have resulted in a long lasting friendship and years later we would still be laughing over the time he came to my rescue and killed the terrifying spider for me. But in reality, I think what happened is that he began using a different dumpster on the property to insure that he would never have to come near me again because I might bully him into killing something else for me. He probably still tells his friends about the crazy spider lady who freaked out on him and forced him to kill a Tarantula against his will. Sorry dude....
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