I didn't get to attend my graduation because I was sick. Very sick. So sick, I honestly believed although I never said it out loud, that I was dying. I survived and have since attended the high school graduations of many other people. I often sit in a graduation and wonder what my own would have been like. I'm a crier. So, I always wonder if I would have cried all the way through it or made it through without a tear simply because I would probably have been concentrating so hard on not falling down. That is where my attention is always focused when I have to walk in front of a group of people..... Don't fall, don't fall, don't fall, don't fall..... But the good news is that it keeps me from crying at events like that since it redirects my attention.
My oldest nephew graduated from the same high school that my niece did. So I already had an idea of what to expect. Their graduations are very personalized. The class historian actually talks about each kid and then there is a Power Point in which photos of each kid from birth to graduation are shown. In various high school graduations around the Metroplex, you hear about situations where the graduate is given a certain number of tickets for their family and friends to attend because the venues where the ceremonies are held won't hold all the people who might come otherwise. At Douglass, each graduate gets a row of 12 seats on the gymnasium floor with their last name on the row. Those 12 seats are for whoever you want to use them. Then the rest of the gym is available for whoever else would like to attend. There are no limits. It was actually pretty full Friday night for the 17 students graduating.
Rebecca had a pretty big crowd attending on her behalf. Aunts and uncle on her Dad's side of the family along with all her cousins except one were there. Additionally, some cousins on her Mom's side of the family were present. Plus her boyfriend and his family were there. When my brothers and I graduated from high school we never had anyone attend our graduations other than one aunt and uncle. My Uncle EC and his wife, Aunt Ida always attended graduations. In fact they showed up for my graduation even though I was too sick to be there. We always thought it was weird that Uncle EC and Aunt Ida always attended graduations. Now, as an adult who attends all the life events of my nephews and niece I wonder, was the rest of my family weird or were Uncle EC and Aunt Ida the weird ones? It's sort of hard to say.... you know because I might incriminate myself if I do.
Maybe it's because both of my parents came from such big families. But my aunts and uncles just weren't involved at all in our lives. Uncle EC and Aunt Ida were the only aunt and uncle without children of their own. So I suppose that's why they attended other people's kids events. We never got birthday or Christmas gifts from aunts and uncles and my parents didn't give gifts for birthdays or Christmas to my cousins. There were just too many. On Dad's side of the family I have 14 cousins. On Mom's side of the family I had 27 cousins. I'm only counting 1st cousins. Quite frankly I have no idea how many kids all of them have had on either side. There are many second cousins that I have never met and never will meet.
When I became an aunt I decided that my main responsibility was to spoil my nephews and niece. I'm not their parent. I'm no one's parent. So, I really know nothing about raising children. My expertise lies in making them want to spend time with me because they know it will be fun. That's not to say that I don't draw lines when they are around. When they stayed with me as children, there were always rules and lines that couldn't be crossed. But for the most part, they were with me to have fun and fun was had. Rebecca will be an aunt for the first time in September. I hope she carries on my tradition with her nephew. Since she only has one sibling she won't have many nephews and nieces. So, I really think she needs to take advantage of spoiling them and then sending them home to their parents every chance she gets. Even though she will probably have children of her own, you can't spoil your own children like that because as a parent you sort of have to play the part of the bad guy every once in a while. As an aunt you may have to be the bad guy 2 or 3 times in their life. Even grandparents have to be the bad guys more often than aunts. Aunts sort of have it made and I think most of them don't really take advantage of that.
Anybody who knows me knows that I take my nephews and niece on a trip when they graduate from high school. Jacob went to New York, Matt and Chris each went on cruises. Rebecca will also go on a cruise. I'm not sure what Tim will do (he's the youngest). A lot of people say nice things about me because I do this. But I'll tell you a secret. It's just as much for me as it is for them. You see, I love them all dearly and I know that once they have graduated from high school, they will go out in the world and start a life of their own, with their own families and I'll only get to see them at family gatherings and even those will become fewer and farther between as they have to spend time with in-laws. So, I consider it my last time to spend with them one on one with nobody else there to garner their attention. I get them to myself for a whole week. Plus we get to go some place together and create memories that neither of us will ever forget. I think about it like this, I could give them $500 and 20 years from now they might not even remember that I gave them anything for graduation. But if I take them on a trip, 20 years from now maybe they'll share a memory of that trip with one of their kids. Even if they don't share the memory with anyone else. It will always be there.
Have a good week!
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