So here's my question.... Does the Mayan calendar end at 12:01 a.m. on 12/21 or at 11:59 p.m. I just want to know so that I can plan accordingly. I mean, if the Mayans thought it would end at 12:01 a.m. and at 12:02 a.m. I'm still here, it's going to be something I'll want to know, right? On the other hand, if I party all day long thinking that the Mayans were wrong and then the world really ends at 11:59 that night, that's going to suck, right? I've looked on line and no one really specifies. So, if any of you know any Mayan's with an "in", I would really appreciate a "heads up". I know I still have like a week and a half to worry about this, but I'm thinking about having a party. So it would be nice to know if I should have the party on the 20th or if it should be planned for the 21st.
If I have the party on the 21st, I obviously will only need enough liquor to last until midnight. It's a Friday so some of my friends who still work at the former employer who shall not be named may flex that day. That will mean they can get here fairly early in the day. So that will effect the amount of alcohol and hors d'oeuvres that I'll need..... These are all considerations that must be taken into account. If, on the other hand, the world ends at 12:01 a.m. on the 21st, those people from the former employer who shall not be named will leave early on the 20th, you know, because they are so dedicated. In case the Mayans were wrong, they won't want to be late for work on the 21st because of that whole dedication thing to the douche bags who axed the rest of us..... so I won't need as much alcohol (no, I'm not still bitter....).
Many of you who might be reading this have no doubt seen my new profile picture on Facebook this week.... a picture of my nephew Matt who is graduating from Texas Tech this weekend. In the photo he is standing in front of a Mayan pyramid at Chichen Itza. Not only is it meant as a tribute to Matt on his graduation, it's also a bit of a nod to the Mayan gods. You've gotta cover all of your bases in times like this. In the event that we are all still here on the 22nd all bets are off and that will once again be considered a simple visit to a tourist attraction in which I took a photo of my nephew. Nothing more. Sorry, just had to get that on the record.
The other thing I am wondering about is how the Mayan's saw all of this ending. If it is a really big meteor, shouldn't we be in it's shadow by now???? Maybe that is why it got so cold suddenly last night.... Or maybe it's just December. But wouldn't the people at NASA at least know it's coming now? Wait, for a minute I was worried that perhaps NASA had been done away with so that more people could have free cell phones, but then I remembered that just last week NASA was bragging that they discovered something really cool on Mars but they aren't going to tell us for a few more weeks so that they can confirm that it really is as cool as they think it is. So, apparently all is status quo at NASA. Either that, or the people at NASA decided to mess with us in our final weeks by telling us they found something really cool on Mars since the big gigantic meteor would be obliterating us shortly and we wouldn't be able to call bullshit on it anyway.
The other possibility is that all of the people who work at NASA have been secretly evacuating Earth for the last few weeks and are currently in flight headed to Mars.... If any of you know any bigwigs at NASA, now would be a good time to call and make sure they haven't left the planet. Maybe they just told us "Big news from Mars.... hold please...." to keep us busy while they evacuated. You never know. I saw a thing on H2 or TLC or NatGeo or one of those other semi-educational channels last week about evacuating Earth and how they would decide who gets to go and who stays behind. I'll go ahead and clue you in now.... they aren't taking me. So, if they know something we don't know, I would still be sitting here writing my blog waiting for the giant meteor to strike and whining about the former employer who shall not be named and you would be none the wiser.
Okay, I have one more question before I shut this blog down for the day and get busy. How many downloads do you suppose R.E.M. will get between now and the 21st on the song "The End of the World As We Know It"? I mean other than the Mayans, they've gotta be getting the biggest bang for their buck on the publicity front out of the end of the Mayan calendar. They'll probably get more downloads this week than any of the contestants from The Voice.... Nah.... Now I'm just getting crazy.
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