Day Two-Sixty-Nine - My Tree Cut

Thursday afternoon I took the Christmas tree and all of the decorations down.  It took a total of about 4 hours to get it all down and put away.  Of course, it is now Saturday and I still haven't vacuumed up the remnants or moved other stuff back into place.  But at least the tree is back in it's box in the garage for another year.  In the process, I think as I was putting the tree in the box, it fought back and I now have a nasty cut on my right hand to show for it.

I say "nasty" not because it is deep or life threatening or anything.  It barely bled at all.  I call it nasty just because it hurts like hell!  It's like a really big paper cut.  I hate paper cuts!  I think paper cuts exist to remind us that we aren't as tough as we think we are.  You know in that game Rock-Paper-Scissors (or if you are a Big Bang Theory fan, Rock-Paper-Scissors-Lizard-Spock) paper only covers the rock and disproves Spock.  But in reality, I think paper and the trees from which they come are actually much more powerful.  Okay, granted, it was a fake tree that got me.  But still, I have a swollen and throbbing hand right now as a result of something I would describe as a really big paper cut that I got from a fake tree.  Here's a picture, you be the judge....

I have already admitted that no stitches were required.  It's really more of a scratch than a cut and yet I can barely type!  I woke up twice during the night to confirm that there was not literally a heart beating in the palm of my hand..... because that would have just been gross!  You might be happy to know that it was just the throbbing of my "tree cut" and not an actual heart.

So now I will be covering the scratch with Neosporin and bandaging it to get rid of the infection.  Meanwhile, I know that you are all sitting in your nice warm homes with your cut free hands ridiculing me right now because I am acting like such a big baby over something that amounts to no more than a paper cut.  But I am here to tell you that this is why we live longer today than the cavemen and people of the Victorian age did.  They died from these sorts of wounds.  That's right.  Depending on how you look at it, this could be considered a life threatening scratch.  If I were to show this to a caveman, he would no doubt start digging me a grave away from the others of our tribe where I couldn't infect others after my death.  I'd basically be Dead Girl Walking.  I need to check my Blue Cross policy to make sure that I am covered for "tree cuts".

Once I douse it in Neosporin and bandage it up, I'll probably have to spend the day on the couch in recovery mode.  The real problem with a cut on your hand is that the mere act of washing your hands requires that you start all over on bandaging.  To me there is almost nothing worse (other than an infected paper cut) than a wet Band-aid.  Why can't they make real waterproof Band-aids?  You would think there was some very inventive out of work rocket scientist out there who could start working on this.  Of course, it could be a Band-aid conspiracy.  Maybe a waterproof Band-aid was already invented but the evil makers of Band-aid put the ka-bosh on it so that we would be forced to use a new Band-aid each time we wash our hands.  I wouldn't doubt it.  Damn commercialism....  Anyway, I figure if I take it easy and don't do much today, there will be less need to wash my hands as many times, so I won't have to re-bandage as many times either.  So, I have the perfect excuse for lying on the couch, reading and watching TV all day long.  I suppose every cloud really does have a silver lining.

I'll finish today by warning you all to be very careful as you take down your Christmas trees and put all of the decorations away.  It can be very painful and even deadly if you are a caveman....