Yeah, I know, you don't need to say anything although several of you have. I realize I haven't been keeping up with the blogs. The thing is, I've been too busy lately. Yesterday I had every intention of writing on this one, but work got in the way. I was busy booking a big ol' trip to Disney for clients. It's tough doing that! I'm not complaining. Disney can pay the bills if this keeps up. I'm just sayin', until you guys start paying me to write blog entries, they come in a distant second to booking travel.
So a few weeks ago I wrote about my dislike of birthday parties since becoming an adult and particularly birthday parties that take place in restaurants with strangers singing..... Well, I haven't blogged since my birthday so I suppose I should fill you all in. As I wrote that blog confidently knowing that my family and friends would never do something so heinous to me they were secretly planning a surprise birthday party for me at of all places, Razzoos! And they all think they are soooooo funny because they pulled it off. I was totally shocked mostly because I really get freaked out about that sort of thing so I never imagined that they would do it to me. But here's the weird part.... it was fun! I had such a great time and couldn't wipe the big goofy smile off of my face the entire night.
I have to say that I was most shocked that all of my nephews and my niece could all make it. I mean, I get that my Mom, Dad and brothers could be there. After all, we're all old and we have no lives anymore. But my nephews and niece range from ages 15 to 25 and they actually have lives. But still they dropped everything and drove to Dallas for the weekend to spend an evening with me for my birthday. Matt even drove all the way from Lubbock! My mom even called a few of my closest friends and invited them to join us. So in all, I celebrated my birthday with my parents, Robbie, Eileen, Matt, Chris, Tim, Ronnie, Jacob, Jeni, Rebecca, Sherie, Julian, Alex, Katherine and Jenny. After dinner, cake and gifts at Razzoos we all came back over to my house and that's when things really got loud.
My nephew, Chris never met a party he didn't want to the be the life of and he and I are both poor pathetic, mistreated middle children and obviously scarred by it. So, we commiserate on that topic and since it was my party, Chris and I expounded on that many times throughout the night. When we were in college his dad once tried to do a little stand up comedy in a local club in Nacogdoches. He got that out of his system pretty quickly. But I think Chris got his entertainment gene from his dad and carries on the tradition.
My friend Katherine, always one of the best smart asses in the world really knows how to drive a point home. It's one of the reasons we are such good friends. We met when we both worked at Prestonwood Mall together. I didn't really know her well and for associate shopping night that year, we had to guard the doors at the lingerie entrance letting corporate office people in. All night we stood at the doors commenting on people as they came and went. Listening to her cynical comments, I knew that we were destined to be friends.
Back when we both worked at Park Central and had offices next door to one another, I would come back from a birthday/crawfish boil at my parents house and complain that Mom had made an Italian Cream cake for my birthday. I hate Italian Cream cakes, but my brother, Robbie likes them. For some reason my mom must have had it in her head that I liked it too. To keep from hurting her feelings I would take a piece and eat a bite or two of it. (Which probably made her think the following year that I loved Italian Cream cake.) Then after the weekend, I'd go back to work and complain for a full day to Katherine about how I got crummy Italian Cream cake for my birthday just because it was my brother's favorite. Now, 13 years later Katherine still brings it up from time to time and we LAUGH, LAUGH, LAUGH, about it. So apparently when my Mom called her and asked her if she could pick up a cake for the party at Razzoos Katherine REALLY wanted to get an Italian Cream cake and insisted to my Mom that I would think it was just hysterical. Mom was telling me about it and laughing her butt off. Honestly, it would have been pretty funny.
It was so nice to see Sherie, Julian and Alex again. I haven't seen Julian and Alex in ages. It's been a year since I saw Sherie. You should never go that long without seeing people who are that important to you. Between the time that Julian lived in my apartment in Conroe while he was still working down there after Sherie had moved to Mesquite and the time that Sherie, Julian and Alex all moved in with me after selling the house in Mesquite and waiting for their house in Rowlett to be completed Julian has lived with me longer than anyone else in my life that I wasn't related to. It's nice to be such good friends with someone that she'll just loan you her husband from time to time. And it's even better when he feels like another one of your brothers.
And let's face it, without Jenny, I would never have made it to Europe, Seattle or Key West. I would have been on a lot fewer cruises and I would have drank a lot less wine in my life. In fact today we're meeting at Mojito's for lunch. 'Cause that's how we roll.
The only people who couldn't make it to the party were Ronnie's wife Christina who unfortunately was still dealing with her Dad's estate down in Bay City and Matt's wife Melissa who needed to be in Nacogdoches for the weekend. All in all, it rivaled the Donny Osmond and the skating party for best parties of all time. So, way to go family and friends, job well done! Now it's time to get busy on the next 50 years! Have a great week!
Roatan
Pirate ship?
Sunday, April 28, 2013
Sunday, April 14, 2013
Day Three-Seventy-Four - The Tax Man Cometh....
Okay, so after a solid day of Donny and Marie songs rolling around in my head, I think I am almost back to normal this morning. But if I suddenly break out in a song and dance routine during this posting, I hope you'll forgive me. I was so happy to see the response to the Donny and Marie / Birthday Party Blog yesterday. I got the best engagement scores that I have gotten in a long time. Who knew I knew so many geeks??? Okay, I did. But still, way to come through geeks!
So today's the big day. I still haven't completed my taxes and the IRS apparently doesn't take too kindly to those who don't turn that stuff in. So my day will be spent right here in front of my computer. That is actually what I was supposed to have done yesterday. But yesterday it was just like I was back in college. I knew I needed to work on the taxes and yet every time I even got close to the computer, I realized that there was a piece of stray cat food sitting next to a cat bowl rather than in it that must immediately be cleaned up. Or I walked into the kitchen for water and realized that the water stain on the ceiling that has been there since last summer when my A/C went haywire could not continue to exist for even one more minute without me doing something about it. So, I continued to procrastinate throughout the day and today I am no closer to being done with my taxes than I was yesterday morning.
In years past, I did it and had no problem completing it in one sitting. I would just sit down at the computer and be done a few hours later. One year when I itemized due to a few larger than normal donations during the year, I think I probably took 4 or 5 hours to complete the task. But otherwise, I've never spent more than a couple of hours on taxes. Mine have always been very straight forward and easy to do. But let me tell you.... When you start your own business all of that changes. This crap is complicated!!!!!
In case you were unclear. Let me just go ahead and tell you that Uncle Sam is NOT your friend. He is a big, fat, hairy monster hiding under your bed who wants to wait until you are sound asleep and crawl out and suck the very life out of you. I'm using TurboTax and I've always liked it in the past because as you go, it keeps a running total of either your amount due or your refund in the upper left hand corner. If it's a refund it sort of dangles there like a carrot coaxing you along in the process. But if it is an amount due, (I can tell you because this happened to me a few weeks ago) it has the exact opposite effect. It makes you want to shut your computer down and crawl up under your desk holding your knees close to your chest in a fetal position. I've never had to mail the IRS a check before and I am not even through so I am pretty certain that when I finish I will probably get a small refund but just the knowledge that I am seeing a number in the upper left hand corner that is what I owe them and not what they owe me is very upsetting! My world has gone all cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs!
There have been years in the past when I have taken really nice vacations on my tax refund. Once I got lasic surgery with my refund and paid cash. I had dreams of taking this years refund and heading off to some exotic locale. I guess instead, maybe Michelle and the girls will take my check and go there instead. Well, the joke's on them because I don't make enough to pay for more than a trip to Chuck E Cheese and we all know that they are accustomed to much better than that.
So, I will go in the kitchen now and get myself some breakfast. Incidentally, I haven't eaten breakfast in the last month but the knowledge that TurboTax awaits me at my computer has made me suddenly very hungry for bacon and eggs.... maybe a little french toast too..... After breakfast I'll fire up the TurboTax program and spend the rest of the day cursing the IRS. When the weather is this perfect no one should ever be stuck in front of a computer on a Sunday. I wonder what it takes to file an extension..... "When the deeeeeep purple falls.... over sleepy garden walls.... and the starts begin to twinkle in the niiiiiiiiiiiight...."
So today's the big day. I still haven't completed my taxes and the IRS apparently doesn't take too kindly to those who don't turn that stuff in. So my day will be spent right here in front of my computer. That is actually what I was supposed to have done yesterday. But yesterday it was just like I was back in college. I knew I needed to work on the taxes and yet every time I even got close to the computer, I realized that there was a piece of stray cat food sitting next to a cat bowl rather than in it that must immediately be cleaned up. Or I walked into the kitchen for water and realized that the water stain on the ceiling that has been there since last summer when my A/C went haywire could not continue to exist for even one more minute without me doing something about it. So, I continued to procrastinate throughout the day and today I am no closer to being done with my taxes than I was yesterday morning.
In years past, I did it and had no problem completing it in one sitting. I would just sit down at the computer and be done a few hours later. One year when I itemized due to a few larger than normal donations during the year, I think I probably took 4 or 5 hours to complete the task. But otherwise, I've never spent more than a couple of hours on taxes. Mine have always been very straight forward and easy to do. But let me tell you.... When you start your own business all of that changes. This crap is complicated!!!!!
In case you were unclear. Let me just go ahead and tell you that Uncle Sam is NOT your friend. He is a big, fat, hairy monster hiding under your bed who wants to wait until you are sound asleep and crawl out and suck the very life out of you. I'm using TurboTax and I've always liked it in the past because as you go, it keeps a running total of either your amount due or your refund in the upper left hand corner. If it's a refund it sort of dangles there like a carrot coaxing you along in the process. But if it is an amount due, (I can tell you because this happened to me a few weeks ago) it has the exact opposite effect. It makes you want to shut your computer down and crawl up under your desk holding your knees close to your chest in a fetal position. I've never had to mail the IRS a check before and I am not even through so I am pretty certain that when I finish I will probably get a small refund but just the knowledge that I am seeing a number in the upper left hand corner that is what I owe them and not what they owe me is very upsetting! My world has gone all cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs!
There have been years in the past when I have taken really nice vacations on my tax refund. Once I got lasic surgery with my refund and paid cash. I had dreams of taking this years refund and heading off to some exotic locale. I guess instead, maybe Michelle and the girls will take my check and go there instead. Well, the joke's on them because I don't make enough to pay for more than a trip to Chuck E Cheese and we all know that they are accustomed to much better than that.
So, I will go in the kitchen now and get myself some breakfast. Incidentally, I haven't eaten breakfast in the last month but the knowledge that TurboTax awaits me at my computer has made me suddenly very hungry for bacon and eggs.... maybe a little french toast too..... After breakfast I'll fire up the TurboTax program and spend the rest of the day cursing the IRS. When the weather is this perfect no one should ever be stuck in front of a computer on a Sunday. I wonder what it takes to file an extension..... "When the deeeeeep purple falls.... over sleepy garden walls.... and the starts begin to twinkle in the niiiiiiiiiiiight...."
Saturday, April 13, 2013
Day Three-Seventy-Three - Cute Marie, Real Cute!
I'm gearing up for the big birthday next weekend. For me birthdays haven't really been a big deal since I was a kid. In the past years, my parents have had some crawfish boils that have been planned around the same time as my birthday. But they weren't really birthday parties. Since I outgrew slumber parties, I have not really wanted a birthday party. I think of birthday parties as a celebration for a child who can't wait to grow up. If only we had known back then what we know now, we all probably would have stopped celebrating much sooner.
I know some people who enjoy making a big deal of their birthday every year regardless of their age. That's fine for them. But it is so totally not me. I'm always slightly embarrassed when someone even wishes me a happy birthday. One of my worst fears in life is being singled out in a restaurant by a giant group of waiters and being sang to. I don't need to have everybody in a crowded restaurant staring at me. I have spent my entire life up to this point trying to blend in and go unnoticed. I sure don't want a bunch of untalented waiters screwing it up for me now!
I do have some great birthday party memories from my childhood which is exactly where great birthday party memories belong. Once me and Deanna Bailey (whose birthday is 3 days before mine) had a skate party at the Skatarama in Nacogdoches. Our families rented the skating rink and we had it to ourselves for the evening and it was so much fun!
I spent every Friday night for about 5 years of my life in those days at the Skatarama so it was particularly exciting for me. I think I got a new skate case that year. Yes, that's right. I had my very own white skates with several different sets of pom poms to put in the laces depending on which ones best matched my outfit that night and a terrific carrying case for all of it. There was a time when I was 12 that I thought perhaps I would grow up to be a roller derby queen. I had some pretty high aspirations as a 12 year old.
Then a few years later Dana Duskin (whose birthday is 5 days before mine) and I had the greatest birthday party ever. We had the infamous Donny Osmond themed slumber party. It was back in the day when the Donny and Marie Show was on TV every Friday night. Dana and I had both been in love with Donny for years. But it was ok, 'cause there was plenty of him to go around. Our birthday cake was purple and shaped like a big sock. We each got a pair of purple socks with Donny's picture on them. I'm not sure, but Krista Roberts may have given those to us. We also got purple tee shirts that said "Cute Marie, Real Cute" on the fronts of them in silver letters. I'm sure that there were many other Donny themed gifts but those are the ones that really stick out for me.
I still have this album. Although I'm pretty sure that I had to pay more than $1.99 for it. I remember saving my allowance for several weeks to get it. I have several other Donny and Marie albums, as well, in addition to a few Donny solo albums. (Eat your heart out Ken Lettre.) My favorite song of Donny's was always Crazy Horses..... I guess when he sang it I sort of thought of him as a "bad boy".... You know, as bad as a nice Mormon boy who performs with his sister can be.
I had this Donny doll still completely outfitted in his little costume on display in my guest bedroom along with my Mrs. Beasley and Raggedy Ann dolls until just a few years ago when it got partially eaten by nieces miniature schnauzer one weekend while they were visiting. I didn't get the doll until after I had stopped playing with dolls so it was perfectly preserved. He was even still holding his little microphone.... you know... until it got eaten. Then not so much.
Even back then people made jokes about the wholesomeness of Donny and Marie. I didn't really get it. I thought they were so cool because they seemed like pretty normal people. In fact if me and my brothers could have sang and danced and quit arguing and hitting each other long enough, I was pretty sure we would have been just like them. I think that was the reason I liked them so much. Well, that and Donny was really cute. So, I guess for a kid growing up in Nacogdoches in the 70's Donny and Marie seemed just like other people you would know who happened to be able to sing and dance. Probably for those crazies out in California they were a little too wholesome.
Anyway, those are my best birthday memories. And since you could never top a Donny Osmond slumber party no matter how hard you tried, I'm just going to continue to not celebrate with parties. Y'all have a great Saturday afternoon! And if you happen to see me out in a restaurant next weekend with my family, please don't tell anyone it's my birthday.
I know some people who enjoy making a big deal of their birthday every year regardless of their age. That's fine for them. But it is so totally not me. I'm always slightly embarrassed when someone even wishes me a happy birthday. One of my worst fears in life is being singled out in a restaurant by a giant group of waiters and being sang to. I don't need to have everybody in a crowded restaurant staring at me. I have spent my entire life up to this point trying to blend in and go unnoticed. I sure don't want a bunch of untalented waiters screwing it up for me now!
I do have some great birthday party memories from my childhood which is exactly where great birthday party memories belong. Once me and Deanna Bailey (whose birthday is 3 days before mine) had a skate party at the Skatarama in Nacogdoches. Our families rented the skating rink and we had it to ourselves for the evening and it was so much fun!
I spent every Friday night for about 5 years of my life in those days at the Skatarama so it was particularly exciting for me. I think I got a new skate case that year. Yes, that's right. I had my very own white skates with several different sets of pom poms to put in the laces depending on which ones best matched my outfit that night and a terrific carrying case for all of it. There was a time when I was 12 that I thought perhaps I would grow up to be a roller derby queen. I had some pretty high aspirations as a 12 year old.
Then a few years later Dana Duskin (whose birthday is 5 days before mine) and I had the greatest birthday party ever. We had the infamous Donny Osmond themed slumber party. It was back in the day when the Donny and Marie Show was on TV every Friday night. Dana and I had both been in love with Donny for years. But it was ok, 'cause there was plenty of him to go around. Our birthday cake was purple and shaped like a big sock. We each got a pair of purple socks with Donny's picture on them. I'm not sure, but Krista Roberts may have given those to us. We also got purple tee shirts that said "Cute Marie, Real Cute" on the fronts of them in silver letters. I'm sure that there were many other Donny themed gifts but those are the ones that really stick out for me.
I still have this album. Although I'm pretty sure that I had to pay more than $1.99 for it. I remember saving my allowance for several weeks to get it. I have several other Donny and Marie albums, as well, in addition to a few Donny solo albums. (Eat your heart out Ken Lettre.) My favorite song of Donny's was always Crazy Horses..... I guess when he sang it I sort of thought of him as a "bad boy".... You know, as bad as a nice Mormon boy who performs with his sister can be.
Even back then people made jokes about the wholesomeness of Donny and Marie. I didn't really get it. I thought they were so cool because they seemed like pretty normal people. In fact if me and my brothers could have sang and danced and quit arguing and hitting each other long enough, I was pretty sure we would have been just like them. I think that was the reason I liked them so much. Well, that and Donny was really cute. So, I guess for a kid growing up in Nacogdoches in the 70's Donny and Marie seemed just like other people you would know who happened to be able to sing and dance. Probably for those crazies out in California they were a little too wholesome.
Anyway, those are my best birthday memories. And since you could never top a Donny Osmond slumber party no matter how hard you tried, I'm just going to continue to not celebrate with parties. Y'all have a great Saturday afternoon! And if you happen to see me out in a restaurant next weekend with my family, please don't tell anyone it's my birthday.
Saturday, April 6, 2013
Day Three-Sixty-Six - Ahhhh.... To Have Your Own Apartment Maintenance Man....
I had thought I would write the personal blog on the 1st anniversary of the mass decapitation yesterday. But I totally forgot. Go figure. I guess I had other things on my mind. Like the kitchen sink that got totally clogged yesterday when I put a small piece of tuna down the disposal. Only the disposal side is clogged. So that's a good thing. But it isn't even draining slowly. It is completely clogged. I went to Lowe's and got some Industrial Strength Drain-O that is safe on disposals and it didn't do a thing to the clog. The plunger that I used before that didn't do anything either. All of my plumbing skills have been tested and I still have a big old clog. Now I have a kitchen sink that is full of ground tuna, water and Drain-O. Ugh!
So, now I get to pay the home warranty company another $60 for someone to come out and do five minutes worth of work. I always feel like I haven't gotten my money's worth out of them if they don't spend at least 30 minutes working on my problem and make several trips to their truck. If the guy comes in and two minutes later I hear running water and whistling I feel like I've been taken to the cleaners. Just the other day I was saying how much I miss renting. I used to love it when something broke and I just picked up the phone, called the leasing office and said, my sink's clogged. Thirty minutes later a guy would ring the doorbell, come in and two minutes later I'd hear water running and whistling. Didn't cost me a penny other than what I was already paying in rent.
What I really need is to marry an apartment maintenance man. That would give me the best of both worlds. I'd still be able to paint my walls any color I wanted AND when something broke, I'd just be like.... "Ok, do your thing, maintenance boy...." Of course, I've observed over the years from watching friends and relatives that getting a husband to fix something is not quite as easy as getting an apartment maintenance man to fix something. I guess in a lot of cases the apartment maintenance man is worried about what the leasing manager will tell his parole officer and most of my friends and relatives can't threaten their husbands with ratting them out to a parole officer. It's a pity.
The ideal situation would be to have an apartment maintenance man as a roommate. Then he is paying rent. You don't have the stigmatism of being married to a parolee and stuff gets fixed. You could work out an arrangement where you do the cooking and he fixes anything that breaks. Then if a piece of tuna brought your world to a screeching halt, you could be like, "Ummmm.... no sink - no dinner...." and two minutes later you'd once again hear the sound of running water and whistling.
To make things even better, you'd be getting half of your rent paid and you'd be saving all that money that you normally pay to a home warranty company. Ok, granted the home warranty company doesn't have plumbers butt for you to put up with or bad table manners. But the parolee can also feed the cats when you go out of town. I'm thinking Win-Win as long as you look the other way when he bends over. And if all of that's not enough, you could probably rent him out to your single friends with plumbing problems for like $30 a call. They'd save money using him rather than a home warranty company and it would be like a part time job for you where you don't even actually do anything other than answer the phone when a friend calls with a tuna disposal clog!
So, I think I'll take an ad out in the Dallas Morning News this week and see if I can get some applicants for moving into my guest bedroom and taking care of all my home repairs. Maybe in his spare time, he could paint my walls. This is going to be great!
So, now I get to pay the home warranty company another $60 for someone to come out and do five minutes worth of work. I always feel like I haven't gotten my money's worth out of them if they don't spend at least 30 minutes working on my problem and make several trips to their truck. If the guy comes in and two minutes later I hear running water and whistling I feel like I've been taken to the cleaners. Just the other day I was saying how much I miss renting. I used to love it when something broke and I just picked up the phone, called the leasing office and said, my sink's clogged. Thirty minutes later a guy would ring the doorbell, come in and two minutes later I'd hear water running and whistling. Didn't cost me a penny other than what I was already paying in rent.
What I really need is to marry an apartment maintenance man. That would give me the best of both worlds. I'd still be able to paint my walls any color I wanted AND when something broke, I'd just be like.... "Ok, do your thing, maintenance boy...." Of course, I've observed over the years from watching friends and relatives that getting a husband to fix something is not quite as easy as getting an apartment maintenance man to fix something. I guess in a lot of cases the apartment maintenance man is worried about what the leasing manager will tell his parole officer and most of my friends and relatives can't threaten their husbands with ratting them out to a parole officer. It's a pity.
The ideal situation would be to have an apartment maintenance man as a roommate. Then he is paying rent. You don't have the stigmatism of being married to a parolee and stuff gets fixed. You could work out an arrangement where you do the cooking and he fixes anything that breaks. Then if a piece of tuna brought your world to a screeching halt, you could be like, "Ummmm.... no sink - no dinner...." and two minutes later you'd once again hear the sound of running water and whistling.
To make things even better, you'd be getting half of your rent paid and you'd be saving all that money that you normally pay to a home warranty company. Ok, granted the home warranty company doesn't have plumbers butt for you to put up with or bad table manners. But the parolee can also feed the cats when you go out of town. I'm thinking Win-Win as long as you look the other way when he bends over. And if all of that's not enough, you could probably rent him out to your single friends with plumbing problems for like $30 a call. They'd save money using him rather than a home warranty company and it would be like a part time job for you where you don't even actually do anything other than answer the phone when a friend calls with a tuna disposal clog!
So, I think I'll take an ad out in the Dallas Morning News this week and see if I can get some applicants for moving into my guest bedroom and taking care of all my home repairs. Maybe in his spare time, he could paint my walls. This is going to be great!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)