We have entered the time of year when it really matters if you watch a TV show in a timely manner. Otherwise, you could end up watching a DVR'd Thanksgiving dinner for your favorite sitcom in mid December and nobody wants to see that happening. This is one of the reasons that I watch very few scripted TV shows. It's just easier my way. If I only watch reality TV, it really doesn't matter when Tyra tells one of the girls that the need to "smize" or "tooch" more. Those kinds of constructive criticisms are always relevant!
With reality TV as long as you watch the episodes in the correct order you could watch them on any day of the year. I mean, it can totally mess up your DVR watching if you see someone get blindsided on Survivor and then start the next episode on your DVR and that person who you just saw getting blindsided is planning to eliminate another person. Then all of your comments aimed at the TV for that entire episode are telling him or her that they can make all the plans they want, but they are in for a big surprise!!!! Let me clarify, I don't actually sit and talk to my TV much. But while I am watching reality TV if I am home alone, I do have a running commentary going on in my head. Occasionally, a random "What the Hell????!!?!?" May slip out. But generally it is all contained within my head.
Now when I watch reality TV with a friend, all bets are off. Because I have a comment about nearly everything that takes place on a reality TV show. And when you watch it with another person, part of the joy of watching reality TV is ridiculing the participants. Most of the time, my thoughts center on what the host or producers might be thinking. Like, on The Bachelor when a couple is mugging down in a hot tub, is Chris Harrison standing off to the side looking at his watch and thinking, "I could be having dinner right now"? Or is he watching it on a monitor somewhere and giggling with a big group of people about how this guy was just saying he had no chemistry with this girl, but he is mugging down with her in the hot tub anyway before he gets rid of her at the end of the episode?
One of my favorites is Iron Chef America. I wish the host would be on their more. He cracks me up the way he turns his head to the knife sounds! I laugh out loud everytime! I also like that you can watch it without worrying if you are watching it in any particular order since each episode there is just a random chef competing against one of the Iron Chefs and there is no weekly elimination process. There is something to be said for the reality show when each episode stands on it's own.
What I really find funny is the people who really get into the reality TV participants. This is especially common for some reason on American Idol and Dancing with the Stars both of which I had to stop watching. You hear people talk about contestants as though they are personal friends. You can be in line at Starbucks and hear something like this "Oh my God! Did you see David last night? He looked so good and I loved that song he sang." I'm thinking to myself, hmmmm... I wonder if David performs here every night. Then I find out that he was on American Idol and this woman has never been with 1,000 miles of him in her life. I stopped watching Dancing with the Stars for what I think are obvious reasons. Those people that they have on there now are not "stars". If I have to google the "stars" to find out who they are and then I still don't know, they are not qualified to be on the show. The title needs to be changed to Dancing with Semi Celebrities and Has Beens.
American Idol drove me nuts with the judges. I haven't watched it since they started changing them all out and I won't. But when the original three were still on, the typical comments after a performance went as follows:
Randy: "Dawg, that was a little pitchy for me....dawg.... I don't know.... I wish you had picked another song... but you did okay....
Paula: "You look beautiful in that outfit! You just move me with your stage presence, but you had some pitchy moments.... Oh! You just sparkled when you turned in the light....I'm sorry, I think I just passed out for a second!"
Simon: "If I'm being perfectly honest, I didn't like it..... What??!?!!?!? Why am I being booed? I'm just saying exactly what you will say when you go home and watch this on TV."
Contestant: "Thank you very much for all of your helpful criticism."
Ryan: "Be sure to tune in to my radio show tomorrow, because I need the ratings... After all, I've only made $10M this week. Now here's a live commercial that we just threw together for Ford and Coca-Cola combined!!!"
As far as reality musical performance shows go, I like The Voice, but I must confess that once they get past the rounds where they have buzzers to hit, I don't like it as much. I guess that makes me kind of pathetic. But I like it when there is an immediate response to what is happening on the stage. At first I didn't like Adam Levine, but now I think he is pretty funny and he has pretty good taste in performers. I'm going to be kind of sad next season when Cristina and Cee Lo take the season off.
I really can't stand Cristina, but I have so much fun mentally ridiculing her clothing choices! What in the hell goes through that woman's mind when she is standing in front of her closet with the door opened???!?!?!?! Is she really thinking, "Damn! I'd look good in any of this!" or is she thinking "Well, crap! I'm fat and all of these clothes are too tight but I have to put something on, maybe if I wear this top that is cut down to my belly button they won't notice the rolls while I'm sitting." News flash Princess!!!!! WE STILL SEE THE ROLLS!!!!!! I think I saw that tiara and sequined fan at Sam Moon last year when I took my niece shopping there.
And Cee Lo.... I don't even know where to begin. Last year he had the cat, this year a pink cockatoo. The man (and I use that term loosely) is a freak. I am not questioning his manhood, nor do I care about that. I just wonder if he is human. I saw one article on the internet in which he was described as "a tiny round alien". That was probably the best description I have seen. My parents were here a few weeks ago and I watched it for a few minutes with my Dad and he finally looked over at me and said "What IS that person?" My response was that I wasn't sure.
Look at that picture! Now, that's some fine looking man right there.... Who wouldn't be turned on by a 5 foot tall 200 pound man wearing a satin Good Humor outfit with a pink cockatoo on his shoulder. I don't know about you ladies, but I might have to go take a cold shower.
I don't really have much to say about Blake. He just strikes me as a big dumb white guy. But at least he is normal looking. If I were one of the contestants and all 4 judges turned around for me, there is no doubt that I would pick Adam Levine as my coach. It just seems like he has more music sense than the other three.
Well, I have a lot to do today. It is another business series luncheon day and I have some trips to research, so I will talk to you all tomorrow. Hopefully, tomorrow I'll be able to do a travel blog so that you can read about things other than my opinions on reality TV and pink cockatoos.
Have a great week!
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