Can you believe that it is already Friday? Okay, for those of you that had to go to work today, you maybe looking at it more like, "Can you believe that it is finally Friday?" But either way, it is Friday. Friday, to me, for the last 80 days has been kind of a sad day unlike the previous 43 years of my life when Friday was always the best day of the week.
Now Friday signifies that I am another work week closer to being forced to find a real job again. While I don't mind the idea of working for my living and I must admit that there have been like two days out of the last 80 in which I was slightly bored this has really been sort of great. I think I would be an excellent "kept" woman. I wonder how you get "kept"? I suppose the first step involves a little bit of hard work in the form of working out. I have never minded staying busy during the day, in fact I prefer it when I am working to make the day pass faster. But actual physical exercise is always a little iffy for me. You've seen what it takes to get me to the gym. If there isn't a trip on my calendar, it kind of takes an act of congress to get me to Planet Fitness.
A number of years ago, I had a membership at 24 Hour Fitness and used to go to the one at Marsh and Trinity Mills. When I was on PTO, I would go around 3 or 4 in the afternoon. At the time I was slightly more dedicated to a fitness regime than I have been in more recent years. I would go for practically no reason at all other than my health. Crazy, I know! I would get on a treadmill or elliptical trainer which faced the areas with strength machines and free weights and proceed to people watch. That particular 24 Hour Fitness had some very interesting people to watch at that time of day.
You could always count on seeing the "meatheads" there, you know, the guys who lift as much as they possibly can while grunting very loudly and then dropping the weights on the floor as they back off. They only do this lift once. So, I never really understood the point other than to show off to some random skinny girl that he could pick up three of her at once if he chose, but only once. These guys always wore tank tops and those weight belts presumably to protect their backs. I think it was actually acting as a girdle to hold more than a few beer bellies in.
The other people that you saw at that 24 Hour Fitness were the strippers who had slept until 1 p.m. then headed to the gym for their 2 - 3 hour workout and were leaving from there to go straight to the club on Harry Hines where they displayed their "wares". The first couple of times, I just thought there were a lot of very fit girls at that 24 Hour Fitness in the middle of the day and I wondered what that was all about. But then one day I noticed this one girl who I had seen there on a few other occasions talking to one of the "meatheads". Well, she was speaking in a high pitched annoying voice, while he grunted back, but you know what I mean. They seemed to understand one another. On this occasion, she was having a similar conversation with another "meathead" but she had already showered and changed and was holding her gym bag as she was preparing to leave. Strapped to her gym bag were 6 inch platform shoes that were dangling off the shoulder strap (work shoes). While they talked another of the tall blonds who was always there came up to them. She also held her gym bag with a strappy pair of platform shoes dangling off the shoulder strap. I looked around the gym and realized that I was the only female in the place other than those who worked there who was not a likely stripper.
I really don't think most of these woman were any closer to being "kept" than I was. While I know that guys often fantasize about women with great bodies in 6 inch heels doing naughty things to them, I don't think they also fantasize about making her $700 a month Mercedes payment along with all the other bills that a woman like that can create to have those things done to him. Okay, I also get that most guys are probably capable of overlooking the $700 a month for a few months, but when the money gets tight, a more average girl will do. After that day I started noticing the cars in the parking lot at that 24 Hour Fitness when I was able to go in the middle of the afternoon. Many of them were very expensive cars no doubt paid for using $1 bills. None of these women really had any interest in the "meatheads" that they conversed with while at the gym, who incidentally drove the beat up Chevy's in the parking lot. They just talked and I am sure did other things with them while they waited for a sugar daddy to come along. I am sure they all had dreams of being the next Anna Nicole Smith and we all know what a lofty dream that is!
Their idea of "kept" and mine were probably two slightly different ideas. I am sure that they fantasize about expensive cars, lavish homes with a cleaning service to do the housework and little yappy dogs that they carry around and a hot young guy who comes over while the sugar daddy is off doing whatever it is that sugar daddies do during the day. Not me! My idea of being "kept" is having everything that I have right now but not having to work outside of the home for it. If I was "kept" think of how much time I could spend writing without ever experiencing any stress over how I was going to pay the bills a few months from now. I love my Kia. I hate yappy dogs. Who wants a bigger house to clean than the one I clean right now? No, I don't want to be "kept" in the same way that a heroin addicted exotic dancer wants. I want to be "kept" under my own terms. This, I believe, is where the problem arises.
I don't think there are many men out there looking for an overweight, lazy and slightly opinionated woman who wants to stay home and write and perhaps someday be compensated for the writing although, that's not really what it is all about. I think most of them are looking for a hot girl, whose only thoughts are centered on being at his beck and call. This is where strippers come in. They have already proven that they are willing to sell themselves for what they want. The only point of negotiation is whether or not they are willing to settle for what the average guy can pay. Fortunately, for most of the overweight, lazy and slightly opinionated women of the world, most strippers think their value is higher than it really is and hold out for a rich billionaire until it is too late. Then suddenly, they too become overweight, lazy and slightly more used up.
I think the key here is that most of us actually do have to work for whatever we get. And usually what we get in return for that work is worth it. I envy those who worked all their lives for what the wanted and now sit on the front porch holding hands with the person they spent the last 50 or 60 years earning those moments with. There can be nothing more precious than sharing your life with someone who understands you and who might be willing to overlook that you are overweight, lazy and slightly opinionated.
So, since I don't have rock hard abs and buns of steel, and I have not found anyone to sit on the front porch with, I guess the number of Friday's that I have left to write my thoughts down and express them to you are starting to fade away. But until they are all gone, I will just keep composing paragraphs on the off chance that someone reads them. Have a happy Friday!
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