How do crummy movie makers continue to exist as movie makers? I don't understand how this works. I watched a movie last night when I couldn't go to sleep that I had DVR'd from the Hallmark Channel back in March. I knew it wouldn't be great, so I kept putting off watching it. But last night at 2 a.m. I was actually slightly surprised at exactly how bad it was.
First of all, no one should ever refer to Nicollette Sheridan as an actress. Just because you proclaim to be something, does not make it so. If I proclaimed myself to be a doctor but had no training or ability to perform the duties of a doctor, you wouldn't introduce me to others as a doctor. You might introduce me as dillusional, but not as a doctor. So, why do people just go along with no talent celebrities who call themselves actors and continue the charade? And don't even get me started on pseudo-celebrities who have become famous due to their sex tapes on the internet. The Kardashian's and Hilton's of the world who have no talent or source of income other than their names have no business taking up time on TMZ when Harvey and the gang could be telling me about what is going on with the really important matters like the TomKat divorce!
Second, the plot of this "movie" was that an ad executive in LA and her fiance who owned resorts were supposed to be going to Ireland for a honeymoon, the week before the wedding she finds out that he is cheating on her. She calls off the wedding and goes on the honeymoon by herself. When she gets out of the car at the Irish castle that her ex-fiance owns where she is spending her single honeymoon, she immediately meets Mr. Right who is a lonely, slightly bitter, widowed father of a 12 year old girl. It probably never had a chance at being a good movie, but I am almost certain that if any of the characters were the least bit believable or likable or were portrayed by someone with an ounce of talent, it could have been a cute movie for 2 a.m. watching. No characters were really likable and the story jumped around so much that it was hard to figure out what was going on. It continually jumped from LA to the Irish countryside. Sometimes there were Japanese businessmen and at other times there were Japanese tourists and I am pretty sure that they used the same "actors" for both the businessmen and tourists.
The fact that the movie stunk doesn't bother me in any way. I expected that. What I find interesting is that these people are probably making money from this movie. Okay, granted, I am one of the reasons that movies like this make money. I am a sucker for any romantic comedy or any movie that is marketed as one whether it actually is comedic or not. I DVR about 30% of the movies that are aired on Hallmark. Then when I get around to watching them, I always have the same reaction. They are practically never any good.
My theory is that I have to have movies on the bedroom DVR so that on nights when I am having trouble going to sleep there will be something to watch besides infomercials. With a romantic comedy, there are usually no sudden noises or crazy plot twists that might keep me from going to sleep if I start to drift off. So, romantic comedies are my genre of choice. The movie that I watched last night included a scene in which the couple were fly fishing in Ireland. That resulted in non-stop fishing dreams for me last night when I finally went to sleep. Fishing dreams are okay. In fact it was kind of nice.
In my dream, I lived on a boat and I was married and everyday my husband would take me out fishing in a smaller boat. Apparently, fishing is all we did except when we got off our house boat and went to a dinosaur park near our house boat / home that was apparently on a body of water in California. I think the dinosaurs played into the dream because a friend asked me the other day if I remembered a scene from Jurassic Park and I had to admit that I have never seen it. This fact always gets a big reaction from people for some reason. It is as though I am admitting to being a puppy killer when I say I have never seen Jurassic Park. Now, for me, this is like a line that I have drawn in the sand. I am sure that it is a really good movie and I would probably enjoy it if I were to watch it. But because people act like I am some kind of communist puppy murderer when I say I haven't seen it, I refuse to watch it. I will NOT be pressured into watching Jurassic Park even if Steven Spielburg personally brings a copy over to my house and sits down in my living room refusing to leave until I put it in the DVD player and watch it. It is a matter of principle now. I took a stand and I will not be swayed. It even bothers me a little that I won't watch it because I love Steven Spielburg. The man can't make a bad movie! So, now I am to the point of cutting off my nose to spite my face where Jurassic Park is concerned. But don't try to change my mind.
I think today, I will go through the Direct Movies on Demand channel and see if I can find anything cheap to DVR for tonight. Now I am starting to wish that I had DVR'd that Hallmark Channel leprechaun movie that came on in March immediately following that jewel I watched last night. How can you go wrong with a romantic comedy that features a leprechaun????
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