Roatan

Roatan
Pirate ship?

Friday, July 20, 2012

Day One-Oh-Eight - No Means No

Yesterday, if you read my post, it was all about the way we were left in the car as children in the 60's if the weather wasn't too hot and Mom was only going to be in a store for a short time.  You might have read that and thought to yourself, how big of a deal would it have been to take those kids in the drugstore with you?  Let me tell you how big of a deal it might have been.....

Once when we were kids, Robbie was in school but Ronnie and I weren't yet.  So, Mom, Ronnie and I had all gone to TG&Y for something.  For those of you too young to know, TG&Y was the Dollar Store of the day.  Only back then it was called a Dime Store.... Inflation, you know.  Now, I don't know what your world was like when you were between the ages of 4 and 6, but in my world, when you went to the dime store, you headed straight for the toy department.  Even if your mom was saying in a very stern voice as you made a bee line for the toy department, "We're not getting any toys today!" you still had to go look.  It was sort of your job as a kid to always know what the latest and greatest toys were that you could get and to feel your mom out for what was too expensive and what was in her wheel house so that on the day that you rushed to the toy department and she didn't make the "no toys" statement you would know exactly what to beg for.

On this particular day, as Ronnie and I were running to the toy department, Mom threw out the "no toys" statement.  So we both knew going in that we were going to walk away with nothing.  This is something that I never questioned about my mom.  I'm not sure if this is the day that I learned not to ever question her decisions once she made them.  But I always knew that once she said something, there was not going to be any changing her mind.  I remember as I got older asking if a friend could come over and spend the night once while we were at the ballpark.  Mom said no.  So I went back and told my friend that my mom had said no and my friend said, "why don't you ask her again?"  I didn't understand this.  I don't even remember who the friend was at this point, but I do remember being puzzled that my friend would want me to get in trouble.  You see if my mom said no, you didn't ask again.  She had us trained that way.  Now that I look back at it, it was very smart.  I don't think I ever questioned it.  My mom may disagree with that statement.  But I think I always understood that it wasn't in your best interest to ask a second time.  As I grew up, I think all of my friends thought I was a freak because when my mom said no, I wouldn't just continue to beg and whine until she changed her mind.  I guess with their mom's it worked.  With my mom, here's what would happen.....

Ronnie, Mom and I were at TG&Y, as I said, the "no toys" statement had already been thrown out.  Ronnie and I were in the toy department staying out of Mom's hair so that she could get whatever it was she had gone in for.  I'm sure I was looking at Barbies.  No doubt Ronnie was looking at something that he could destroy property with.  Actually, I think it was a yo-yo that had his eye, but I am not positive.  He's the one who tells this story all the time.  I, on the other hand, have tried to block it out of my memory over the years. After a while, Mom came to the toy department to get us.  She said it was time to go and Ronnie said he wanted the yo-yo or whatever it was that he was eyeing.  (Let's just say that it was indeed a yo-yo for the purpose of this story.)  Mom said, no.  There were no explanations from her as to why he couldn't have the yo-yo.  There didn't need to be.  The only explanation necessary would have been that she was the mom and she said no.  Did I mention it was the 60's?

So, Ronnie decided for some reason that the toy department at TG&Y on a weekday afternoon was the ideal place to test Mom.  I think that if you asked Ronnie today, he would tell you that it wasn't a good decision on his part.  He didn't seem to have thoroughly planned his strategy.  His first plan of attack was to scream that he wanted it.  That didn't work.  So, then Mom took his arm and said "let's go".  He jerked out of her grasp, threw his 4 year old body on the ground in the middle of the toy aisle and proceeded to throw a fit!  Mom turned and looked at me and said, "Susan, let's go."  And we did.  We left him laying in the middle of the toy aisle and screaming at TG&Y and walked outside and started getting in the car.  I think that was about the time that Ronnie realized his mistake because he came tearing out of TG&Y like he was on fire!  He ran up to the car screaming something like, "don't leave me" or "let me in".  I don't actually remember what he was saying, but he was in a total state of panic.  He got in the car.  Mom started the car up and we were about to leave for home.  Just before leaving, Mom announced that Ronnie was getting a spanking when we got home.  Ronnie turned to me and very smugly said, "she'll forget".  Looking back, I now think that, that statement could have been his biggest mistake of the day.  She heard him and she didn't forget.

I think we both learned a lot of things that day.  We learned that if Mom said no, she probably meant no.  We learned that you couldn't embarrass Mom into giving in.  And most importantly, we learned that given the proper motivation, Mom can remember anything.  I don't believe anything like that ever happened again.  Years later, Ronnie would learn a lesson from Dad about being late for dinner and talking back to Mom that  involved a glass of milk.  But I'll save that story for another time.  Have a great day!

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