Good morning! The cats woke me up arguing over something this morning but now I am glad they did. I have such a busy day ahead of me today.
I went to Target yesterday for paper towels and a bag of chips and wound up spending $155. I don't understand how this works but I have had this conversation with a few of my friends. There is some kind of a force that does not allow you to leave Target until you have at least $100 worth of merchandise in your basket. If I needed a pack of gum and went into Target to get it, there is no doubt that I would walk out with a DVD, some sort of makeup item, a kitchen gadget, a 24-pack of Bic pens, cleaning supplies and the biggest container of Folgers that they carry. What causes this?
I have come to the conclusion that they are piping something in through their air vents. It is some sort of a gas that goes undetected by our mere mortal noses but we are totally susceptible to it's effects. It forces us to first of all get a basket, when you only came in for a bag of chips and a roll of paper towels. Then it demands that you fill the basket. I think there are some parts of the Target store near my house where the gas might not reach because yesterday there were times while I was filling my basket in which I came to my senses briefly and put a few things back. But then, suddenly I would see something else and inexplicably add it into my collection of crap that I didn't need. Each time this happened I recall seeing a man and woman wearing khaki pants and red shirts talking on walkie talkies..... Coincidence? I think NOT! I'm pretty sure that the woman was telling them to amp up the gas levels because I was coming out of my gas induced Target shopping haze.
The people I really feel bad for are the ones who have a little kid strapped in to the front of that red Target basket. You know if I came in expecting to spend $10 and end up spending $155, it has to really be tough on them. They probably come in expecting to spend $50 and then they get sucked into the black hole of the toy department and suddenly they've spend $300.
I saw this happen to a woman yesterday. She was just walking by the Barbie aisle pushing the basket containing the bag of chips and roll of paper towels that she came in to purchase and her daughter glanced down that aisle of Barbie pink and then she along with her daughter and her basket were all gone! Poof!!!! They just disappeared..... And now that I think back the woman in the red shirt with the walkie talkie was less than 20 feet away when this happened.... (Insert Twilight Zone music here). Her husband probably sat at the dinner table with his fork and knife in hand for half an hour last night before he realized that she was missing. If there is an Amber alert today for a red headed woman and her blond toddler, I saw them late yesterday afternoon at the Target on Coit Rd just steps from the Barbie aisle. God be with them.
Have a good day. I need to get dressed so I can go to Target and return a few things. I still can't figure out how I got home with a 50 lb. bag of dog food and a table saw......
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