I'm posting much later today to make up for how early I posted yesterday. Mary and I had a great time yesterday at the Kimbell. The exhibit was really nice. It was sort of mind-boggling to me. How much money must a person have to possess 38 Renoir's in their personal collection. Add to that all of the Monet's, Pissaro's and so on.... It was just amazing. When you sit back and think that they had the money to collect all of that art because Sterling Clark was the heir to the Singer Sewing Machine fortune you just have to wonder how many freaking sewing machines did those people sell?
So, I have decided that rather than going back into the retail world, I would just prefer to become an heiress. I mean, let's face it. The peons selling the sewing machines didn't have two pennies to rub together. The real money is in being part of the family. The only issue will be getting my foot in the door of the heiress business. I understand that most people are born to that sort of an occupation. But surely, they could use some new blood in the world of heiresses. Besides, heiresses are always thin and attractive. Don't they need one overweight heiress friend to be the token fat girl in their group? I could be the token fat heiress.
I'm sure that heiresses spend a lot of time with their personal trainers. Beyond that I would think that a lot of time is spent on facials, massages, mani's and pedi's, two-martini lunches, shopping at over priced boutiques, meeting friends for coffee and of course scouring the art galleries for art to collect. Since as the token fat heiress I would not be spending a lot of time with a personal trainer, I could probably devote more time to the other duties of an heiress.... you know the lunches, massages, etc.
I think that as a token fat heiress I could perform a real service to my fellow heiresses. For one thing, they wouldn't look so shallow if they had a fat friend. Plus, even the chubbiest of them (you know, the one who wears a size 6) would look thin when standing beside me. I could also, always order desserts when we were in restaurants so that they could taste them before running to the restroom to purge. When you really think about it I think I could apply for a job as simply a fat friend to heiresses. They could take me to do all of the stuff they do all day long and pay my way. That way they get the benefit of having a fat friend while I enjoy the benefit of having rich friends.
We all know that heiresses cannot spend too much time in one place without becoming horribly bored. So, naturally, there would be a lot of travel involved in being the fat friend to heiresses (all expenses paid, of course). We could go to some really cool places. I think we would have to start out on the yacht that would belong to my heiress friends daddy. But once you are in route the possibilities are endless! This is probably where I would come in the most handy. I could help my heiress friends think of new and exciting places to go to spend all of that money. I'm sure that most heiresses have two or three little places that they like to visit like the Riviera, Paris and so on. But I could help them come up with locations that they never would have considered. Let's face it. I really don't think that most heiresses have a great imagination when it comes to this sort of thing. They NEED me!
So, yes. I think I am finally heading in the right direction. I think I will start by sending resumes out to a few heiresses this week. I'll keep you posted on the progress I make in my job hunt as "token fat heiress / fat friend to heiresses". Wish me luck!
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