My brain is still kind of sleepy this morning. I have nothing in mind to write about. I am not particularly aggravated with anyone right now. When someone annoys me, I can usually go on for paragraphs and paragraphs about my annoyance. I can tell you all of the things that I am unable to say to them. It is easier to express my anger to a group of 20 or so people who I know I won't see for at least several days than it is to the person who made me angry in the first place for some unknown reason. What's up with that? Wouldn't the world be a better place if we sometimes just blurted out, "are you a freaking idiot??!?!?!?!?!"
I mean maybe some of the people who annoy all of us are completely oblivious to the fact that they are doing so and we would actually be doing them a favor by letting them in on the fact that the rest of us are walking around thinking that they are the downfall of society. I think I would like to live in a world where we were all expected to blurt out, "your an idiot!" when somebody did something stupid. And the idiots would be like, "now what did I do?" and you could explain it to them. Maybe the idiots would learn a thing or two and the rest of us would certainly be a lot less stressed since we weren't carrying around all of that pent up anger.
The first guy I would talk to would be the idiot who tailgated me yesterday as I was driving through the residential area that I live in. He was about 4 inches off of my back bumper in his big stupid, four wheel drive truck trying to intimidate me into speeding through the residential area just after school got out and all of the kids were walking down the street. When I stopped at the stop sign and came to a complete stop, I thought he was going to start crying as he revved up his stupid looking truck and flipped me off for having the audacity to stop at the stop sign. When I turned my blinker on and slowed to make the left hand turn into my condos, he sped passed me on the right and flipped me off again as I did so, because you know I was a bitch for driving the speed limit and stopping at stop signs in front of him. I suppose I should have pulled over so that he could go around me and drive 45 miles an hour through the 30 MPH residential area and tap his breaks as he went through the stop sign, but I was having fun watching his face contort in my rearview mirror. So, "hey dude in the obnoxious 4-wheel drive truck on Meandering Way yesterday at 3:30, YOU'RE AN IDIOT!"
Another person I would like to talk to if it suddenly became acceptable to inform people of their idiocy would be the person who schedules people to work the checkouts at Target on Coit and Campbell. That person is a moron. If your store has 30 checkout stands and you only schedule 3 people to work them between 4 and 5 p.m. on a weekday it is a little questionable. But the fact that two of those people are working express lanes, one at each end of the row of checkout stands and the only non-express lane is on the electronic end rather than the grocery end where people are more likely to have more items tells me that you put absolutely no thought into this. If there were no customers and you sent the other checkers to do something else until you got busy I could understand it. But the fact that when I got ready to pay there were approximately 8 people in each of the three lanes tells me that there are no back-up people available to call or you would have already called them. By the way, moron, you can find my cart full of groceries abandoned in one of the empty lanes and "YOU'RE AN IDIOT!"
The third and final person who would be on my hit list for today would be the idiot at Chili's who brings the diet coke that you ordered to drink to your table at the same time that they bring... are you ready for this because it's a good one... the appetizer that you ordered AND your meal. Yes, I recently ordered a Bottomless Express Lunch at Chili's. It is where you get chips and salsa (supposedly as an appetizer), a salad and a bowl of soup. I also ordered a diet coke. She was actually surprised when I got angry and she sent her manager over no doubt because I was mean. Apparently, this is the norm. I guess I am the only person who goes into a restaurant and expects to get my drink BEFORE I get anything else, then if I ordered an appetizer, that should come out after the drink. I could even deal with getting the drink and appetizer together. But who in the hell wants the drink, appetizer and meal all at once????
Once I tried to outsmart them and order the drink and acted like I didn't know what I wanted. Then when the waiter brought my drink, I ordered the chips and salsa. When he brought the chips and salsa I ordered the salad and soup. I got it all in the order that I wanted that way, but when I got my check they charged me the full price for each item instead of the express lunch price. So, I had to pay $3 extra to get my meal in that method. Logically, it seemed that I was being charged $3 extra because the waiter had been forced to make 3 trips to my table instead of one. So, I figured this must mean that they were compensating him by the number of trips he made to my table. Therefore, I left a note on the back of my receipt explaining why I wasn't leaving a tip... you know, since he had obviously already been compensated with that $3 delivery fee. I'm generally a very good tipper. But on that occasion, I felt the need to make a point and my dad always taught me that I should get the attention of the person I was making my point to before I started. I felt like not leaving a tip would get their attention. Apparently, I was mistaken since they are still stupid.
I mean, making a point to an idiot is sort of... well, pointless. At the very least you would think that they would post a photo of me at the Chili's in my neighborhood along with a note that says, this mean lady likes to get her drink BEFORE her meal and she really likes it if you give her the appetizer before the meal. That way they could all get my food in the correct order and spit in it at the appropriate times before bringing it out. Perhaps you are all reading this and thinking how did Susan get to be so picky? Obviously, I expect way too much of people and I should just learn to go with the flow. But again, I just didn't have anything to write about this morning and I have been keeping these feelings bottled up inside me. We all knew they would have to come out at some point.
Have a great Thursday maybe I'll go harass the poor wait staff at Chili's.....
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