It is Sunday morning before 8 and I am sitting in front of my computer already. It isn't by accident that I sit here so early. I had a plan for today. I was going to get up at 6, write my blog, go to the early church service and be home before 10 so that I could work on my garage which was supposed to have been cleaned a few weeks ago and still has not been. Then at noon I was going to come in and watch football and clean in the garage in between watching football.
It is now 7:51 and I have gotten to my second paragraph in this blog. You see, I hit snooze for the first 45 minutes. Then I turned on the TV and watched an episode of I Love Lucy. Then I came downstairs and made a big pot of coffee, fed the cats and opened the window for Jingle and let Shiner out on the patio and then I finally set down in front of my computer about 5 minutes ago. Go ahead and say it.... I'm a deadbeat!
So, now I am bound and determined that I will make it to the middle church service which starts at 9:45. That will still get me home before 11 which is a good thing. Of course, we all know that I won't make it out into the garage. I mean, by then, the pre-game shows will be on and there really won't be enough time anyway to start dragging things out in the garage. Besides, I worked on it for a few hours one day last week. I am practically 1/32 of the way done. What's the hurry? The garage sale isn't for another month..... right? I told my mom just a few weeks ago that I work best under a deadline. I suppose in a few weeks, we will see.
In college, I never got anything done unless it was due the next day. It is just part of my M.O. I'm a deadline kind of girl. If I started working on a paper before it was due, I actually got a lot of other things done. Like, if I had two nights to go before the paper was due, on the first night, I could get the refrigerator cleaned, clean the oven, write a few cards to send to friends and family (it was before there was email), and get all of my laundry done. Then on the second night, (the night before the paper was due) I would put clean sheets on my bed (which had been laundered the night before), vacuum the entire apartment and bake a cake. Then around midnight, I would start the paper, finish it around 4. I would sleep until 30 minutes before the class in which the paper was due started, get up, go to class with no makeup on, get the paper turned in and then continue on with life. My roommates always knew when I had something due or a test the next day because I would run around the house in a cleaning frenzy to avoid working on my project or studying.
I'm a world class procrastinator. Procrastinators could actually take lessons from me on the topic. My most sought after lecture would be the one where I teach them not to sweat it. So what if your paper is due in 9 hours and you still don't have a topic. Just relax!!!!!! It'll all work out. In fact, that might be the heading across my lesson plan for that day. "Just Relax! It'll All Work Out...." People will come from near and far to hear about my techniques. I'll become a celebrity. They'll beg me to write a book, which I won't start on until one month before the deadline. But THAT my friends is when the garage will finally get cleaned. Once I am 5 weeks away from an awesome book deadline, I'll suddenly realize that I can't possibly start working on that book until the garage is cleaned!!!! I won't be able to concentrate on the first sentence until I know that everything in my messy garage is in complete order.
I'll alphabetize my garden flags by main character, I'll measure all of the bolts and sort them by size, I'll colorize yarn and raw fiber and put it in airtight containers based on fiber content, I'll hang a peg board for all of my pink tools to hang on and probably draw outlines in each spot, so I will remember where the pink hammer goes and where the pink phillips head screw driver goes. It will be perfection. I may even become one of those people who paints their garage floor. Then and only then, will I start the book about how to be the perfect procrastinator. It can be done.... It WILL be done.... But don't hold your breath.
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